are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
