go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize