I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
