Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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