Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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