I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
