Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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