You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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