Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
false alarm, still single
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
