I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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