just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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