And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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