I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
