i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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