Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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