it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
