That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
either way he was missing a nipple.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
