What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
