awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
