Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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