I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
