oh god the rape fog is back!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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