My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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