lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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