hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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