I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize