just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
