The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
