I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize