It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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