i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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