i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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