could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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