I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
