But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Randomize
