i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
