i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
