I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
