So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
