I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
