she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
