Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
