how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
