Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just tell him i said nine months
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
