he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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