Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
