so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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