Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
