So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
