I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
