I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
tell me about the eggs
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