I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
