You really coming over, don't trick.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize