ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
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