Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
