We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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