I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
