everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize