A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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