just come out here and I will go home with you...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
