I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
