just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
