epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
