if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
