Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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